Having trouble opening and carrying a conversation??????? This is one of those things that really affects a lot of guys and, like all else, takes actual effort to fix. HOWEVER, there are a few things you can do make the learning curve less steep. 1st and foremost having trouble walking up to girl, or groups of girls, you don’t know is usually because of fear. Which is manifested by freezeing, getting nervous, anxious, thinking all the negative things that she can say, etc… Now the best way to deal with this is to “force” yourself into opening to girls. This is good advice. BUT there is way of making this “jump in to the cold water” easier. You see instead of thinking, “I have to get her #”, think “I am just gonna talk with her”. That’s it, don’t make any expectations of any type of outcomes, just go talk as if you where talking with one of your friends. No pressure, no agenda, no nothing. This simple thing will get rid of the “anxiety” most people who can’t approach experience. Go ahead give this a run, and you will see how easy it will be to talk to girls. Because since you are not putting pressure on yourself of getting her #, nor you are expecting an outcome. As a matter of fact you will find that the conversation will go smoothly and very natural. |
Home » Archives for 2010
Opening and Conversation Tips
Posted by Wonder Dating on Sunday, July 4, 2010
How To Be The Man Women Love and Are Attracted To
Posted by Wonder Dating
By: Joseph Matthews
I want to share an observation with you.
Have you ever noticed that too often, men are willing to go against what they think, feel, and believe because there is a woman available to them?
And the thing is, the men KNOW that what they're doing is going to turn out badly, but they do it anyhow because they want to be with a girl in some way.
By the same token, many men are willing to let the women they're with walk all over them and treat them like crap because they're getting sex out of the deal (if they're lucky, anyway).
Us boys have a name for this behavior.
It's called being "whipped."
We've all had a friend at one time or another who's suffered from this condition. He's a cool guy, a good friend, but suddenly he meets a woman and he can't go out drinking because he's gotta pick her car up from the shop or take her kid out to the park, or whatever task she has assigned him.
And it's not the fact that she needs him to do things for her, it's the fact that he gives up any sense of what his life was in order to please her.
The problem that comes from this situation is that the guy often not only loses the respect of his friends, but also the respect of the woman he's with. The very person he's trying hardest to please begins to resent him and take him for granted.
This is why having rules and standards is important.
It comes down to a matter of SELF RESPECT.
People who have no code, no rules by which they live their lives, no standards by which they hold themselves up to, are weak people. They look for others to give them an identity, to give them a purpose.
But having rules and standards allows you to define who you are and stand on your own two feet. People who know what they are, and are not willing to do, garner respect from others.
Most unhealthy relationships stem from the problem of weakness in one of the partners.
Typically, women want a dominant man in a relationship. And when I say dominant, I DON'T mean the ball-gag, chains, and leather whips kind-of dominant. I mean a guy who takes control of the relationship and is a source of strength for the woman he's with. A man who makes her feel safe and eliminates uncertainty from her life.
But the woman aside, it's more about making YOU happy. It's about having respect for yourself and what you want out of life.
If you have a certain type of woman you want to be with, don't lower your standards just to get laid or whatever. That's not respecting yourself. Go after the type of woman you want instead of settling for what you can easily get.
You'll be happier that way.
If you have a rule where you don't want to date single moms because you don't want to take care of someone else's kids - or whatever your reason may be - then don't do it! If you meet a girl, but she's a single mom, stay true to your rule. There's a reason you made it a rule in the first place, right?
In the end, having rules and standards makes you a more attractive person, because it conveys confidence and conviction, two traits women always find attractive in a man.
And as you know, women are complicated beings, and it seems most men are clueless when it comes to dealing with them!
So let me ask you this...
If you have more questions about how to be successful in your lovelife, what would it be like to have all those questions answered and enjoy attracting the incredible women you've always dreamed of?
Maybe there's a girl you want to meet?
Maybe there's a girl you want to take out on a date?
Maybe there's a girl you just want to sleep with?
But how do you DO all this with the women you want?
Well fear not, my friend. Because answers are here. And with answers, come hope.
Listen, we all know what it's like to struggle with women. Sometimes you're too afraid to meet them because you don't want to be rejected. Sometimes, you're afraid to ask them out because you don't know what to do on the date. And sometimes, you might even be afraid to "close the deal" because you don't know what to do in the bedroom!
All of your problems can be solved with one thing and one thing only...
Knowledge.
Knowledge and the will to apply it!
In my time learning to be successful with women, I've gotten to meet some of the best dating experts in the world! And they've taught me some amazing secrets to their success with the fairer sex.
But after a seeing how incredible this information was they were sharing with me, I started to feel guilty.
Guilty that I was privy to all this fantastic advice, and no one else was!
Can you imagine what it would be like to get EXPERT advice from EXPERIENCED ladies men who KNOW what they're talking about?
What would it feel like if you could walk up to any woman you want, without fear, and easily strike up a conversation with her?
What would it feel like if you could go out on a date, confident that it was going to end the way YOU wanted it to?
What would it feel like to be so amazing in the bedroom, you've literally got women BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR to be your willing love slave again and again?
When you literally FEEL that kind of confidence around women, you won't even have to work at getting them! They'll be the ones trying to get YOU.
That's not a lie my friend, nor is it marketing BS. That's the truth.
The great thing is that you CAN feel that way. You can walk through life powerfully, without fear of rejection, enjoying success with beautiful women, despite your looks, social standing, or bank account.
It is possible, if you're willing to learn.
I have accumulated some amazing advice from the best seducers, dating experts, and don juans in the world, and I've made it all available to the common man.
But it's not for everyone.
Some guys just aren't ready to learn these secrets. They just simply aren't ready for them yet.
If you're afraid of hard work, are lazy, or don't want to change how your life is currently like, then take the information you recieved from my newsletters and happily store it away on your computer.
But if you're committed to changing what doesn't work, if you really, truly want to have that feeling of a supremely confident ladies man and carry that with you wherever you go, then you definitely need to check out my course:
Attracting and Seducing Women: How to Use ‘Option Limitation’ to Maximize Your Success
Posted by Wonder Dating
After all, how are men supposed to know what each girl’s looking for without asking?
If you DID ask, you know your chances would be small, after all, no girl wants a guy approaching her with needy questions - she wants a confident man who somehow seems to know what she’s after and can give it to her.
So how do you do it?
How do you become the man that effortlessly exudes confidence, dominance and presence, without turning into an arrogant poser or desperate wannabe?
The answer lies in psychology. It’s at the heart of all persuasive social situations, and absolutely central to the success of any guy’s attempts at attracting and seducing women. Quite simply, by learning the CORRECT psychological rules, principles and tactics, any guy can play and WIN at the game of seduction. For example, let’s look at one such psychological technique, that used correctly boosts any guy’s chance of getting a girl’s number or hooking up with her at a later date by at least 50%, each and every time he uses it. It’s called option limitation and works on the following principle of human nature
When someone’s presented with only a single choice, often their natural reaction will be to rebel against it and go their own way. However, when given 2 or 3 options, the opposite occurs: they feel their intellectual freedom has been respected and they make their choice from the variety of options they’ve been presented with.
You can use this universal psychological principle when picking-up or seducing a woman by carefully constructing how you pose important questions or phrases while talking to her.
For example, most men think saying: “Can I have your number?” is an okay way to finish a conversation that’s gone well with a girl. But a much more powerful and effective way of saying the same thing would be to use option limitation. Something like: “It’s been nice to meet you. Shall we swap numbers or maybe grab a bite to eat and a drink tomorrow?” What you’re doing is presenting the girl with a choice between good and better – whichever she says yes to, you win. If you only give her one option, as in the first example, she’s likely to create her own alternative, which means there’s a chance she won’t say yes to the option you gave her. When she subconsciously recognises that she’s been given a choice between multiple outcomes, she feels her intellectual freedom has been respected and she chooses one of them.
So, always use option limitation to give the impression there’s a variety of options available to the girl – even though each one is fine as far as you’re concerned. And to strengthen the effect of option limitation, always try to separate the choices you give the girl with the word “or.” When people hear “or” they automatically recognise that they need to make a choice, and therefore do just that.
Option limitation is just one example of how, whether they know it or not, men who are successful with women CREATE that success for themselves – not through luck or good fortune.
click here for more tips.
How To Attract Women: By Being a Bad Boy
Posted by Wonder Dating on Friday, July 2, 2010
By: James
Do you want to know the way how to woo a girl ?
This one is the most favorite one..
It seems that when it comes to men chasing women, we guys are separated into two camps: the nice guys... and the bad boys. This is a dreadfully intense way of looking at things, making men think that they have to make some huge verdict with stern repercussions, like choosing between the Jedi and Dark Side, good and evil, black and white. But what about the middle ground? If you're a nice guy who puts women on a pedestal and lets them get away with anything, you definitely can't let them keep doing this. But if you're a bad guy who treats women like yesterday's trash, you're not going to do much better also. So there's got to be some negotiation. Here are my seven confirmed techniques for getting women by taking on your "inner bad boy"--while still allowing yourself to be you.
1. Surprise them.
If there's one thing girl’s love, it's a surprise. There's nothing greater than keeping them on their toes. Do this by going against common norms; for instance, giving her the "black power fist" when she's expecting a handshake. Or walk up to her and dare her to a game of thumb wars. As you're having a great discussion, say you've got to run off. This all goes a long ways towards making her heart quiver, and making YOU more attractive--without being a total douche bag.
2. Do the unexpected.
Unfortunately, nice guys constantly do what they're SUPPOSED to do. They say hello, ask genuinely how a girl is, and gawk in awe as she says she's a model. BORING. Nah, you've got to free your inner bad boy by doing the things you're NOT supposed to do. Show her you're cool, show her you're bold: flirt shamelessly, grin at a sexual statement, tease unabashedly. You don't have to be a total jerk to do these things, just a guy who's confident that he'll get away with things that aren't "the norm". Girls adore to not know what to expect, so do the unexpected!
3. Be a rebel.
I'm not saying to break the law, but don't always go by the regulations. Show her you're fun, break rules here and there. So what if there are people watching! Give her a big kiss in the center of the street. So what if boardwalk is closed? Take her for a dreamy midnight wander Who cares if the speed limit is 50? Drive her at 75 and watch her shout in enjoyment. You don't have to be a complete jerk to show a girl some fun.
4. Get physical.
If you're not already at a sports club or into martial arts, now is the time. Girls worship a guy who can kick butt. It's the element of the bad boy that makes them feel secure and protected. So get to work on your body--nothing says enticing like a man in shape who can kick some butt.
5. Make her feel safe.
Show her your confidence, your self-assuredness by taking her hand, walking on the side of the walkway closest to the road, and never backing down from any position. That's not a permit to get into fights, just to make her feel protected.
6. Tease.
This is a approach you can't go wrong with. Bad boys never let a girl get away with undesirable behavior. If she's talking like she's the greatest person ever, they'll joke, "Man, if this lady's ego gets any larger we're all going to have to evacuate!" If she says she's a model, say a bit to the effect of, "Oh yeah? Is that it?" And show her your worth by saying, "Listen, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to wait around. Your mouth is destroying my ear drums." In other words, don't be scared to gag around and put her in her place!
7. Develop attitude.
I just can’t stress enough how critical having a charming, confident attitude is. You don’t care what others say. You don’t care what others believe. No matter how a woman reacts, it just blows right over you. That’s because you’re always in power. No woman—whether gorgeous, well-liked, or loaded—has power over you. You don’t need anyone, you’re not reliant on anyone, and you don’t have to stick to anyone. If she thinks she's too good for you, you get right up and shift to the next girl, because you're a catch and you know it!
Remember, you don't have to be a absolute bad guy to get the girls. Just clinch the winning characteristics of bad boys, and you'll be facing up women left and right!
Don't forget, if you want to learn more about using "the inner bad boy" to attract more women, visit my website by CLICKING HERE
Now it's YOUR turn!
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About the author:
James is the writer of the newest edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Women PREMIUM.” His year of dating knowledge and global travel have tutored him in the art of meeting and seducing females the world over and introduces a sophisticated approach to dating and increasing real relationships required for the modern man.
What Single Women Hate!
Posted by Wonder Dating on Thursday, July 1, 2010
Do you have finish read this article, try to find out more about this article here.
By: James
The reason why we’re starting with this topic is that at least 95% of men strike out with women in the first 3 minutes of talking to her.
They don’t even realize it, but they have made mistake after mistake and that leads to a total lack of attraction from the women they have met.
Do NOT do these things.
Many of them will sound familiar to you, but it is time that you learned not to do them.
Mistake #1: Do NOT buy a girl drinks unless you already have a rapport with her!
Why not? Well, there are a number of reasons. Most nice girls find it embarrassing when someone they have not even talked to walks up to them and offers to pay for a drink. They are also cautious and may even think things like, “Are there drugs in there?” “Why are they doing this?” “What do they want?”
And those girls that do say, “Yes, please,” without even asking, “Are you sure?” usually will never become attracted to you, because you have just positioned yourself as another “free drinks guy.”
So when do you buy a girl drinks? After all, lots of girls say that it is a nice and gentlemanly thing to do, not to mention it can be attractive if done right.
If you are going to buy a girl drinks, do it after you have developed a rapport with her first. Offer it to her in a way that seems like you were going to the bar anyway to get a drink and just wanted to see if she wants one, too, (i.e., to prolong the enjoyable conversation).
If possible, get her to come to the bar with you. If she does this, you can take this as an indicator of interest (IOI) and, by leading her there, you are actively demonstrating leadership skills – something she will be subconsciously attracted to.
So, to summarize, when you buy a girl drinks straightaway, you are instantly telling a girl that you feel you need to spend money in order to buy her attention. That instantly reduces your chances of her becoming attracted to you.
What you need to do is learn more creative ways of starting conversations. You’ll learn some here in this 6-Part MiniCourse, and a lot more in my Premium and Mastery courses.
Mistake #2: Don’t give too many compliments too soon.
Many guys, when they meet a hot girl, make the mistake of giving them too many compliments too soon.
Hot girls get compliments all the time. And you know what? When you give them too many compliments, they think, “Thanks, that’s great,” they get a quick self-esteem boost, and they lose interest in you.
Even girls that don’t receive compliments all the time feel awkward when you give them more than one compliment, and they don’t know how to naturally accept them. It can also make them feel self-conscious, leading them to think, “What else is he checking out about me?”
All in all, giving too many compliments lets them know straightaway that you see them as a prize worth pursuing. By doing this too obviously, too early, you are actively demonstrating that you are not a challenge, and this will make her less attracted to you.
If you are going to give a girl a compliment, make it mean something. Make it be the only one for the night. And if she is super hot, she is used to getting compliments about her looks. Why not be different? Comment about something subtle that you notice about her, like how you enjoyed talking to her and how she seems really fun. Try to look beyond her looks, and you’ll be the one who is qualifying her, not the other way around.
Mistake #3: Being too predictable in your conversation.
Some predictability in conversation is fine, as eventually you will have to find out her name, what she does, what her likes and dislikes are, and so forth.
But...
You don’t want THE ENTIRE conversation to be too predictable. And you DO want to tell stories in your conversations whenever you can.
What is ”too predictable”?
Well, attractive women get approach A LOT in their lives, whether it be in a bar or just meeting through friends. And what they are very used to is a conversation that goes something like this:
“Hi, how are you? I’m John, what’s your name? … Cool, pleased to meet you. So, what do you do for a living? … Oh really? That’s interesting, you must find that very fulfilling (or whatever…)… What do I do? I’m an accountant (or whatever)….”
Sound familiar?
The worst part about these types of conversations is that you tend to run out of things to say pretty quickly. Not to mention that you have actively demonstrated that you are very, very similar to every other guy that has approached them. You’re not demonstrating much uniqueness here and you are not setting things up for a fun conversation.
What I can tell you is that you can actively demonstrate that you are not exactly the same as every other guy by simply not opening up your conversation with, “Hi, how are you?”
Start your conversation with something like the classic opener, “Hey, my friends and I were just talking, and we want a female opinion on something…” and away you go, STRAIGHT into conversation, BEFORE you ask for personal details such as her name, what she does, and so forth.
Women LOVE to give their opinions, and this gets a real conversation going where they can get passionate about the topic. Plus, this gives you a legitimate (in their eyes) reason to approach them.
What could you ask for a female opinion on?
- “Do black shirts look great in clubs? My friend thinks they are a little plain. I think they stand out more because not that many people actually wear them outside of business – and that’s with a tie!”
- “Is buying a dog for a girl a good present? My friend has been going out with his girlfriend for 6 months, and he’s thinking of buying her a dog.”
- “Should a first date always be short, like less than 30 minutes? Some of us think that they should be coffee or something with an easy ‘out’ if it doesn’t go well, but others think it should be something more fun, like going to a theme park, but that can take a few hours. What do you think?”
As you can see, there are a lot of different opinion openers that you can use and think of. I just thought those up off the top of my head.
By doing this, you are actively demonstrating you’re not a “Hi, how are you?”-kind-of-guy. You are actively demonstrating that you are so comfortable with yourself and with people that you can ask go up to someone and ask a question and feel you have the right to.
Remember, YOU need to be the one to guide the conversation.
You can always change the conversation in an instant by casually saying, “Anyway,” and following up with a question, like how she knows so much about fashion or pets or whatever.
I prefer not to ask her name, because if she volunteers her name and asks for your name, that is an indicator of interest (IOI). In other words, it gives you a little indication she likes you. Get enough IOIs, and you can be confident that you are on the right track.
When you do ask a follow-up question, DON’T follow up her response with a whole bunch more questions.
Too many questions = Boring!
What you need to do is follow up her answer with a story that relates to what she just told you.
For example:
You: “Anyway, so what kind of music do you like?”
Her: “Hmmm… I like boy bands like Westlife, also a bit of hip hop. How about you?”
You: “Really? Boy bands aren’t my favorite. I know all the girls love them – in fact, my little sister used to be really into New Kids on the Block when I was younger. Her and her friends used to make up their own dance moves to them. I guess that’s what put me off them, all that ‘step by step’ and all that. But, personally, I enjoy classic 80’s and 90’s music. They remind me of some pretty good times when I was growing up, not to mention they go great with plenty of beer, ha-ha.”
What happens when you tell a story is that she often will follow up with her own story, and, if she doesn’t, you can tell another to fill a pause in conversation, such as…
You: “Oh! That reminds me, talking about beer, I once went to this bar where there were over 180 different beers on tap; it was like a world record. So are you a beer drinker or a wino?”
Now that you’ve seen a good way to handle a conversation, let me show you how most guys mess it up.
Most Guys: “What kind of music do you like?”
Her: “Hmmm… I like boy bands like Westlife, also a bit of hip hop. How about you?”
Most Guys: “Cool, those bands are good. I also like 80s and 90s music, mostly. So, what else do you do for fun?”
Talk about boring! Only a really patient girl will stay in this “question and answer” kind of conversation much longer.
Most Guys aren’t fun and interesting to talk to. Most Guys aren’t interesting and unique.
There is a LOT more to learn about conversation skills, but if you can try to include some storytelling in your conversations, you will be twice as interesting to talk to.
If you want to learn more from me about how to talk to women, get my How to be irresistible to Women Premium series
OK, now just to recap what we’ve covered so far: three things that single women HATE and not to do are:
#1. Do NOT buy a girl drinks unless you already have a rapport with her!
#2. Do NOT give too many compliments too soon.
#3. Do NOT be too predictable in your conversation.
There are other things that single women HATE, these include lack of style, seeking her approval too much, giving up all your power to her, specific body language faults, and a whole lot more, including the thing that single women HATE THE MOST.
Find out all of the above, and a whole lot more in my How to Be Irresistible to Women PREMIUM course. And if you want the ULTIMATE how to seduce women package, get my How to Be Irresistible to Women MASTERY Series, which includes information presented by 12 of the world’s leading seduction and dating experts.
How To Get A Womans Phone Number and Email in 3 minutes
Posted by Wonder Dating on Wednesday, June 30, 2010
| By: David DeAngelo Let me start off by telling you something remarkable: I've personally stopped focusing on just receiving phone numbers. I've found that EMAIL addresses are far superior (I still get the phone number too, of course). Let me make clear. I perfected the art of receiving phone numbers a couple of years ago. If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get her number in about a minute or two (if I'm in a hurry). I found out later, after running like a mad scientist on this that GETTING PHONE NUMBERS ALONE DOESNT'T EQUAL THE AMMOUNT OF SUCCESS YOU HAVE WITH WOMEN. You see, women have many unusual reasons for giving out their phone numbers. Some love the consideration of having a lot of men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some are actually attracted. But the universal response that I get from men, and in my personal experience, women act different on the phone than they do in person. When you call a woman for the first time, she'll often start acting stand offish or even poorer, just plain foul. It's almost like she's a different person than the one you met. I've found that getting an EMAIL address is not only easier, but it gets more optimistic responses later on. It's almost as if women value it that you've taken the time to think about what you're going to say when you write an email to them, and they think of you more like someone they know. The other profit of email is that it can be written and answered anytime. If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an email can be answered anytime. And I've found that emails are answered FAR more frequently than voicemail messages. HERE'S THE HOW TO: After I've talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes, I'll frequently say something like "Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm going to get back to my friends." They generally don't know what to do, as they're used to guys clinging to them. Most of the time, they say "It was nice meeting you too..." Then, just as I'm turning to walk away, and we kind of separate, I turn back and say "HEY! Do you have email?" The "HEY!" is a bit shocking, and "Do you have email" is non-threatening. In fact, I'm officially asking her if she HAS email, not if she'll GIVE IT TO ME. If she says "yes," I take out a pen and paper and say "Great, write it down for me" and I have her write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the 'yes' that they give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they've almost ALL gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, I say "Write your number down there too." When you ask for email, it's very low hazard for a woman, so she'll think "Fine, I'll do that." Most women will give out an email address without thinking about it, because they know that they can decide later to just not answer. The enchantment of asking them to write their phone number down WHILE they're in the middle of writing down their email is all about the psychology of human performance. She's already psychologically said "OK, I'll give you my email address"... and she's in the middle of writing it down. When you say "And just write your number down there too" it's only NATURAL to just write it. In other words, it's a MUCH lesser step than giving out the phone number all by itself. It took me a LONG time to figure out this easy move, but it works like magic! You will have women writing their phone numbers down without even thinking twice. Here's a great add-on to make sure you're getting a real phone number and not a pager or voicemail: As she's writing down her phone number I say "Is this a number that you actually answer?" If she looks at me and hesitates, or says that it's her "voicemail or pager number," then I say "Look, carve your actual number down. It's going to be OK, I'll only call you nine times a day..." They laugh and usually give me their real number. Now, if she answers my first question and says "No, I don't have email" then I pick on them and say "Well, do you have electricity?" This is a GREAT chance to use humor. Then I say "Well, OK then. I like email better, but I'll take your regular phone number. It's so damn tough to reach people on the phone these days." Just realize that all you have to do is ask. Like I said, I've tried all kinds of things. And I've gotten hundreds of phone numbers. And I use this exact string every time I talk to a woman and I want to get her phone number. I've gotten to the point where I can frequently do this in a minute or two - no kidding! Now that you know the sequence, write it down with the words and the steps, and practice it in your mind over and over until you know precisely what to say for each step and each response. Many guys have asked me "But what do I tell her as a reason why I want her number or email?" I've never had a woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows why you asked. If she doesn't give it to you, then she also knew why you asked. Just believe that this is the case. If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth, presumptuous, calm way, you'll get a lot of emails and phone numbers. Note: Carry a pen on you at all times. I prefer the Fisher Space Pen (chrome) because it's small, classy, and women love it!
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